One Saved, One Lost
by Balin Lord of Moria
Summary: This is a look at how two women souls who loved the same man responded to his persuasion to put the past in the past and embrace the light of God and Heaven. I think it's a beautiful piece, even if it isn't as perfect as C.S. Lewis' own writing.


**A/N:** This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic from C.S. Lewis' point of view, and I may not get it as perfect as he did, so no flames, please. In it, a Spirit manages to persuade one Ghost to turn from sin and pride and to God and Jesus, and the Ghost becomes a Spirit, too, while another Ghost is offered the same opportunity by the same Spirits, but rejects it and returns to Grey Town.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Great Divorce_ or its characters, nor do I own the biblical references in this story. Only the story, in and of itself, belongs to me.

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_**One Saved, One Lost**_

I recall one scene my Teacher showed me after we talked about the realities of the afterlife and the Valleys of the Shadow of Life and Death. This time I saw not one, but two Ghosts hobbling along on the hard, sharp grass. Both of them were apparently unhappy women, and I could also see one of the Solid People, a man, coming out to meet them. One of the Ghost women had brown hair streaked with grey, short but quite askew, and she wore a worn, old pants suit. The other was blond, though her hair looked very dirty even from where we stood, and she wore a silver evening gown that also looked like it had seen better days. The Spirit man was naked, as many of the Spirits were, and looked mighty strong from his grand muscles and smooth flesh, and his own hair was short, light brown and fluffed up a little. One of the Ghosts, the blond one, looked at him with disgust and revulsion, while the brunette Ghost looked afraid, and like she couldn't bear to be present with him. Nevertheless, the Spirit, like all the others, was thoughtful but very joyful as he looked them over.

"Why, Sarah!" he said, looking first at the blond in the tattered dress, then, "Rachel!" as he turned to the brunette in her dull pants suit. "You actually came here! I was a little afraid you would stay in Grey Town forever."

"Well, it's certainly not all that bad when compared to walking around this place, is it, John?" said the blond Ghost.

"What do you mean?" asked the Spirit, "Surely, this place is the most beautiful place you have ever seen? Look at the trees! Look at the grass, and the water!"

"That's precisely our point," said the brunette Ghost, "We can't go anywhere or do anything without terrible pain. Everything weighs like a ton, the water is too solid to enter, and the grass is like prickly knives under our feet! How do you expect us to get around?"

"If you stay, your feet, as well as the rest of your forms, will become stronger and tougher over time, until you are as strong as me," said the Spirit.

"But we can't stay here," protested both Ghosts. "We already explained that implicitly."

"That's too bad," the Spirit said, "I was hoping you could stay, forever if possible. I really miss both of you."

"Oh, really?" said the brunette Ghost, "Why would I want to stay with you anymore, John? We dated each other once, if you don't remember. You even said you loved me. I said the same thing to you, and I _really_ meant it. And what did you do? You betrayed me! You turned me down just because I wasn't beautiful enough for you, because I wore this thing so often," she said, gesturing at her pants suit, "You thought this whore from New York City was so much better than me. I've never been able to forgive you since, either. You're a traitor. A traitor!" She yelled those last words.

"Yes, I know Rachel," said the Spirit, "And that's the reason I was so eager to see you when I heard you were coming here. I'm sorry for what I did. It was my own fault that I rejected you. But Sarah here was so good to me on more than one occasion, and I became infatuated more with outer beauty than inner beauty. All I ask is your forgiveness, not absolution."

"Oh, now you're saying that you prefer this bland broad over me?" said the blond Ghost indignantly. "You said you loved me too, you know. And I can't understand why we can't be together again after death. I took care of you and our children. I was just as much a breadwinner as you were. I practically saved your life from the poor house, something this 'Rachel' of yours could never do, her being so poor and all herself! Why did I go to Grey Town, too? Tell me that!"

"I know," the Spirit said patiently but with undisguised happiness in his eyes, "But you had the same problem I did, Sarah. You were too concerned with outer beauty, yours and mine alike, that you failed to learn how our immortal and Almighty Lord judges people by their hearts, and not by their bodies. You didn't pay attention to what St. Paul and St. Peter said in 1 Timothy and 1 Peter about how women must clothe themselves, not with fancy jewelry or expensive clothes, like what you're wearing now, but with good deeds, befitting a woman who believes in and follows Jesus."

"That's it?" the blond Ghost said in disgusted disbelief, "I had to look plain and simple, and be a goody two-shoes all my life? John, you know that ballroom dancing was my dream; I had to dress like that in order to be better than the competition, and to please the crowds of people who came to see us dance. I wanted to be the best!"

"Yes, but Sarah, life is not a competition, particularly not when it comes to vanity," said the Spirit. "You took a wrong path. Of course, being a ballroom dancer is not what landed you in Grey Town, because few careers are inherently sinful or evil. You were so desperate to be the best that you forsook our Creator. But don't get worked up again. There is still time to fix that, as long as you're here. I do not hold anything more against you than I do for Rachel. I think both of you would love it here, if only Sarah can put aside her vanity, and Rachel can forgive me for abandoning her." Here his eyes danced with mirth.

"Why should I trust you?" the brunette Ghost spoke up again. "You may say you're sorry, John, but how do I know that's true? And why would I want to spend time with a man who rejected my 'plainness' for flashy beauty? You made me feel ugly for the rest of my life, and I almost killed myself for it, remember? Do you have any idea how I felt about you when I died? I desperately wanted to forgive you, because I, too, believed in Jesus, but I couldn't quite do it before I passed away in grief, and you know the Lord does not allow those who cannot or refuse to forgive others into Heaven!"

"Yes, that is true, Rachel, all of it," said the Spirit, "I know that now. But you _wanted _to forgive me, and that's what matters. You did not resist the urge to forgive, at least not consciously or deliberately. You so desperately wanted to forgive me, and you didn't give up trying until you died. We have all committed sins in our lives, but it isn't any more too late for you than it is for Sarah here. Come on. Like I said, if you come, your feet and form will become accustomed to all these solid things shortly." He smiled and extended a firm, muscular arm to her.

The brunette Ghost, who had avoided eye contact with the Spirit this whole time, finally looked into his joyful eyes. I must admit, I was a little afraid she might do something rash, like vainly attack him, or tell him off even more loudly, or at the very least, run away back to Grey Town as fast as the grass would allow her. But when she looked into the eyes of her apparent former friend, I thought I detected a desperate desire to listen to his advice and put Grey Town and her unhappy former life in the past.

"Are you sure you mean all that you've said, John?" she asked, sounding like she had a glimmer of hope in her voice.

"Absolutely," said the mirthful Spirit, "Of course, we cannot marry in Heaven, because Jesus himself says that those who enter the Kingdom of God will not marry or be given in marriage, because we become like the angels in Heaven, but we can live there together, perhaps as the best of friends next to Jesus, and we can share the greater love that God's children embrace when they turn to Him."

The brunette Ghost looked conflicted for several long moments, dreading leaving the wretched refuge of Grey Town and longing to let go of her pride and forgive. The suspense was building again. I almost shouted out a few words of encouragement to her, but my Teacher bade me to be silent, for this must be her own decision.

Finally, tears started to run down her face, but I soon learned that they were not more tears of misery, but tears of slowly building happiness and joy. Forgetting that she was a phantom for a moment, she flung herself at the Spirit as if to hug him.

"I forgive you, John, I forgive you!" she said loudly, "I forgive you! I love you! I love Jesus!"

The Spirit eyes twinkled with delight, and the brunette Ghost suddenly seemed to realize that she was no longer a Ghost. She felt an intense pain within her soul, and cried out in agony and fear, afraid that she had been rejected by God, presumably. But instead of being dismissed back to Hell, she was changing.

She had fallen to the grass, where she felt the prickly pain of the grass hit her for a second to increase her agony. But now, as the pain seemed to have passed, she slowly stood up, and she was no longer a Ghost with short, frizzy hair and an ugly pants suit. She stood straight, almost as tall as the Spirit man, and I could see that she had a real body now, like the Solid People did, probably just as solid as their own bodies, and she was as naked as he was. But like the Spirit man, she didn't look like a small, thin, half-shriveled, frail woman (or a rotund, fat woman) like you see almost all women these days. Her figure and curves were perfect, her muscles were impressive, though not as much as those of the Spirit man, her skin was perfectly smooth and gloriously adorned with the light of God's glory, and her hair was still brown, but had become shoulder-length long and was well combed and groomed.

Now, instead of a Ghost, she had become a Spirit, a Bright Person.

I couldn't help but feel happy for her.

"Now, that's not fair!" the blond Ghost suddenly shouted, all a fluster. "Why does this broad get to have you, anyway? I thought you were my husband, John."

"There's no need to keep using that derogatory word, Sarah," the Spirit woman who used to be a Ghost said. "And I don't 'have' John for myself. He just said that those in Heaven do not marry. But there's no need to fret about that." Her skin seemed to increase its brilliant shining white light as she smiled. "Now, why don't you come along, too? John helped me see how wrong it is not to forgive the wrongs of others, and look at me now! You can become a Spirit too, if you just let go of your pride and vanity like I did and submit to God."

"I can't look at you anymore!" complained the Ghost angrily, "At least not directly at you. You're becoming too bright for my poor eyes! But even if I _could_ stand that light, why should I go with you and John? In case you didn't notice, now he's letting go of me, his own loyal wife for years, just like he did to you before he dated me. You think this large, shapely, naked woman is beautiful now, John?" She was now talking to the Spirit man. "What about me? Don't you think of me? I'm your wife! And now you're unofficially divorcing me, here, in the Valley of the Shadow of Life itself! Now you're a twofold traitor, only now, you betrayed the woman who really deserves you!"

"But we don't deserve each other in Heaven," said the Spirit man, "No one deserves God, either. God showed us his Grace through Christ's death on the cross on Calvary. That's what makes us able to be here. But we beg you, think again; will you not join us here where all is good and beautiful?"

"Yes," said the Spirit woman, beaming joyfully, "We would love to have you. If it means something to you, Sarah, I'm not jealous of you having John instead of me anymore. I love you, too. We all love each other in Heaven and the Valley of the Shadow of Life. Cast off that vain old gown, and put on the raiment of God's righteousness, like John and me." And despite their nakedness, it seemed as if the two Spirits were simultaneously dressed in something like white robes, the white robes of God's righteousness, perhaps. But just like with all the other Solid People, the robes didn't disguise the massive grandeur of muscle or the radiant smoothness of flesh both Spirits had.

It was now the blond Ghost's turn to consider the offer of the Spirits. I privately hoped that she, too, would accept the Spirit man and woman's generous offer. She too seemed to be torn between giving up the pride that had ruled her life on Earth and enduring an eternity in Grey Town again. None of us spoke for almost a minute, I think. The Spirits waited patiently, and so did the Teacher and I. Finally, the Ghost spoke, but her voice was wroth with anger and defiance. Pride and vanity were overcoming her again, evidently, and now it sounded like she was adding hate to the mix.

"Will I join you lot in Heaven? Will I cast off this lovely gown in exchange for bare-skinned righteousness? Will I spend eternity with a treacherous boyfriend and a jealous would-be girlfriend of his? I think not! Really, John, I don't understand how you can even be here if you don't want to be my husband anymore. You say you love me, but are you doing anything to prove it? No, you're not. You've just given your heart to that other friend of yours! I can't live with someone who has no more affection for me, especially since you've never repaid me for all the things I did for you as your wife."

"So that's what it's about?" said the Spirit man. "You're not only vain and proud, but you wish for payback for your deeds, too? Love and eternity are not about keeping score, Sarah. Rachel here knows that. She found it so hard to forgive me until now, but never once did she attempt to get revenge or settle a score with you or I because of it; and I must say that makes her a more pure person than you were. And besides, you don't seem to recall that I helped you with many things, too, perhaps not as great as what you did for me, but I still helped you out. Please, Sarah, I don't like to see you like this, but you must make up your mind for good or ill soon, and we in Heaven cannot live with the miseries of those who reject Heaven. Joy is an obligation in Paradise. So reconsider, please? It's better for you than wasting away in Grey Town forever."

"I already told you my choice, John," said the Ghost, "I'm not going to live in the same place with you any longer, even if it _is_ a paradise! At least in Grey Town, I can still maintain my natural beauty and keep my career, even if it is cheerless now. Which reminds me, I'm also keeping this dress. Those white, transparent robes or whatever they are are blinding me; I can't stand to look at them even out of the corner of my eye anymore! And you, Rachel," she turned back to the other Spirit, "I hope you enjoy your eternity with _my_ lover, because I would not dream of being in the same place with you, either."

"Sarah," said the Spirit woman, spreading her arms warmly, "What is so bad about this? My body? The righteousness of God that now shines through it? You must realize that your own condition is not unlike what mine recently was, dirty and impure. But John did not come here to purify us himself. The Lord did that when I accepted His word through John. John was merely the instrument through whom the Holy Spirit did His work. Now come on, please," her own eyes twinkled, "We can sense that your time here is short, so take this opportunity while you can. You will be free from sin and death forever, and God will purify you just like he did with us and so many others-"

"Enough!" the Ghost almost screamed. "I can't take this anymore! Go on, get away from me, now! I hate you! I hate both of you! Traitors! I'd rather keep my vanity in Grey town where I can walk without being pricked than accept eternity with you, or your loving God!"

The two Spirits glanced at each other, and then back at the remaining Ghost. "So you choose to leave and gnaw away at the roots of your pride forever. Do so, then. But neither our Lord nor we ourselves can tolerate the presence of a stubborn, unrepentant sinner in His presence any longer."

And with that, a powerful wind came blowing towards them from the direction whence the Spirit man came. It tugged hard on the Ghost, and she was slowly driven away by its gust, until she started running back to the bus to get away from that place, crying out every time she stepped on the sharp grass.

I think I remember seeing the two Spirits hugging and walking to wherever the first one came from, hand in hand, but at the same time, my Teacher said to me, "This conversation is over. It is time to move on."


End file.
